Change Hatred Into Love

This blog post, to say the least, is weeks late.  This is my fault and I apologize to our readers.  The last few weeks have been busy as I have traveled from Omaha, Philadelphia, and back to San Antonio.  All these journeys, in some form or fashion, have been in service to the Marianist Family.

I knew I was in for it when I landed in Omaha, Nebraska and it was snowing.  This was April for crying out loud, I thought to myself, what the heck am I doing here?  I wasn’t looking forward to being in Omaha for the next four days.  The life of the Spirit, however, has a way of spurring one to change their way of thinking.  I went to Omaha to visit Gross Catholic High School (I’m part of the Marianist Visitation Teams; these teams travel to gauge and explore how each Marianist Sponsored school lives out the Marianist identity/mission) and it turned out to be a breath of fresh air.  I met many educators who, without the physical presence of vowed Marianists, have managed to keep the Marianist Spirit and Charism alive in the school.

The following weekend I traveled to Philly for meetings with the National Administrative Team of Marianist LIFE (Living In Faith Experience).  The Regional Coordinators, Kate Beskid, Jessica Gonzalez, and yours truly, met with the National Coordinator of LIFE, Toni Mesina.  Talk about great meetings!  We discussed the present status as well as the future of the Marianist LIFE program.  I was refreshed to see how each Marianist LIFE program works to instill, and in some cases, introduce the Charism to the youth (and adults) of today.

Next, I hosted our Marianist LIFE South Coordinating Team Meetings.  It is a privilege to lead and guide a talented and intergenerational team of Lay Marianists who have passion for ministry and the Marianist Charism.  I have every confidence that Marianist LIFE South 2013 will be a program that will inspire kids and adults alike.

Mother Teresa was fond of saying, “small acts with great love.”  This attitude is one I aspire to.  How are we going to change hatred into love?  This is a tough question and I’m inspired by an article written by a Professor of Theology at Providence College, Paul Gondreau.  His son, Dominic, was recently and quite literally embraced by Pope Francis (See the video here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jsk9RWRqPo).  This professor was inspired by the Pope’s simple gesture and suggests that it is in the simple gestures that we show others how to love. He goes on to say that his son, who has a condition known as cerebral palsy, teaches him daily how to love.  We all need examples like that in our lives.  These examples are already there!

I cannot help but recall how my mother relentlessly showed our family this great love with her many acts of service.  Often, it was in the simple acts that her love was communicated:  cleaning the house, cooking everyday, or her presence at each of my sporting events or school functions.  All these acts combined demonstrate her powerful witness to love; her desire for us to change hatred into love.  She, to this day, shows me how to love and I hope to cultivate this same disposition in my life and in my communities.

I hope to show my community (Sobremesa and San Antonio) love.  It is in the simple things:  taking out the recycle/trash bins, putting thought into how to set the table, asking your community members how their day was, and folding clothes that don’t belong to you.  Sobremesa constantly shows me love and inspires me to turn away from hatred.  This community is a sign to society that we are about love.  We may be small and fledging but our alacrity to effect positive change in the world will continue.  I challenge you all to go and show your communities love.  Go and change hatred into love.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Moms out there and may be peace be with you all.

A Community in LOVE

Dating (from what I’ve gathered) is complicated…. When you mix dating with living in an intentional community… it becomes even MORE complicated. Don’t get me wrong, it is totally worth it… just a huge challenge. It appears to be a challenge that everyone in the community is willing to accept. There are challeges inside of challenges and there are benefits and joys to it too. Like everything else in community (from laundry, to prayer to yard work) you have to find the balance for you.

The harder stuff:

My biggest struggle has been stepping on toes and the delicate presence within the house.  TIME is precious… from work, reading, friends, other activities, we as Sobremesa have very little of it. And it has become something I cherish about living with Louie and choosing Sobremesa. I love coming home to chat about my day with Louie or catching him as we run off for the day. I love walking over to Baade’s to help her unpack boxes or share a meal and watch a slide show of her family photos. But Time is important for building relationships outside of the community (which we have talked a lot about here on the blog). I have to make sure I am present to Louie, Baade and Tyler (my boyfirend)…

I also need to make sure that Tyler and I make Louie and Baade comfortable around us. I can’t always hang out with one or the other… I have to ask if it is ok if Tyler comes out. I keep Louie involved with all of the plans… and I invite Louie and Baade to do things with us. I want them to be a part of my relationship with Tyler.

The good stuff:

I love the times when the four of us laugh until we cry, talk story, eat together and pray together. Sobremesa is a part of me and so is this new community with Tyler. It is a fantastic thing when things overlap. It is a comfortable and easy movement to a growing community…

I love that Louie, Baade and I can talk openly about the people we are dating. It is nice to hear other struggles and ways of thinking from my community members when it comes to dating.

I love to watch my community mates fall for others they are dating. I learn from them how to love others and accept people. I like to see them happy and building support systems around themselves.

I know that my experience and feelings could change about living in community and dating as a 30 something… but right now, I couldn’t be happier. Learning from Tyler, Louie and Baade about love, how to pray, and how to be the best Brophy I can be.

 

“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

Introducing Sarah Baade :)

I grew up in the Presbyterian and United Methodist churches. I could probably count on one hand how many Catholic families I knew in my hometown. I certainly had never heard of being Marianist until I moved to San Antonio a year and a half ago. How does an average mid-western kid like me end up discerning community life? From the moment I met Jen, Louie and my other Marianist friends I felt right at home. I felt welcomed without judgment or hesitation.  While our church backgrounds were different I quickly learned that our values were a common ground. One of the biggest attractions for me is the support I have seen between Jen and Louie. I have seen them help each other with basic tasks like cooking dinner or cleaning the house. I have seen them help out by driving one another to the airport or grading papers.  I have been there when they or I were dealing with a topic that was personal and emotional. When there has been joy, it is a joy genuinely shared and celebrated with one another. When there has been pain, there have been arms to give hugs, ears to listen, and voices to provide encouraging words.  This level of sincere support is theoretically easy to provide but the execution typically proves difficult.  I feel blessed to have the opportunity to discern community life with Jen and Louie. This support system is an incredible foundation to build on.

Editor's Note:  Sarah Baade is an Audiologist in San Antonio, Texas.  She is currently considering joining the Sobremesa Community and will be periodically posting on the Sobremesa Blog.

Beauty and Goodness

Beauty and Goodness.

The last two weeks have been busy.   It is my fault that it has been 15 days since our last post.  I apologize for my slowness in posting!  Here are a few happenings from the last few days.

Last weekend, Jen and I were able to share Marianist Mid-LIFE together with other moderators around the country.  Marianist Mid-LIFE is designed to bring moderators from the various Marianist LIFE (Living In Faith Experience) Programs together to share prayer and best practices (amongst other things). Before I forget, Marianist LIFE is a Province sponsored leadership retreat that attempts to form students from our Marianist schools and parishes in the Marianist charism.  It is a powerful program that provides an experience of community for our younger Marianists.  This retreat/conference brought teachers and youth ministers who work with the program together.  The time we were able to share with the other moderators was indeed a gift.  The whole fact that we were able to make the trip was a gift. 

During the conference/retreat, we were asked to consider the role that Marianist Lay Communities play in our lives.  After hearing our keynote speaker, Pati Kresensky, speak about the history of the Marianist Lay Communities, I couldn’t help but think how MLC’s, specifically Sobremesa, push me to overcome individualism in a very personal way.  I was reminded how Chaminade wanted to transform the society he lived in.  He did this by working in a grassroots way to offer formation for people from all kinds of backgrounds.

 The spirit of Chaminade has touched me deeply and has led me to Sobremesa.  Here I sit, over the table (an incorrect yet made-up translation of our community name), so to speak, acknowledging that this community is the stabilizing force in my life.  This stabilizing force is continually reminding me, through prayer and work, to accept and live the life placed before me.   This stabilizing force is pushing me to offer that formation.  Jen and I often wonder and debate how best to provide that Spirit of Chaminade (transformation and justice) for other young adults here in SA, TX.

Indeed the time was gift and too bad we couldn’t stay in California (we were just outside of San Francisco in a city called Burlingame) longer but it was time to come home and back to the craziness of this life here in SA, TX.

After returning from California, life has returned to business as usual.  Track and Field season opened up and that takes up a good amount of time.  Jen is fighting a sinus infection.  We have, though, experienced a rare thing these last couple of days, naps!  Thank God for naps.  They seem to come at the right time and for all kinds of reasons that I’m not about to explain, I’m glad they are rare occurrences.

What I’d like to make less of a rare occurrence is the fact that living life in the Sobremesa Community allows me to become more of the man I was created to be.  Thank you Sobremesa!  Living life in this community is constantly allowing me to see the giftedness around me.   Jen sent me a great Henri Nouwen quote that I’d like to share.  It goes like this, “We don't have to go far to find the treasure we are seeking. There is beauty and goodness right where we are. And only when we can see the beauty and goodness that are close by can we recognize beauty and goodness on our travels far and wide.

Beauty and goodness are all around us, do you have the vision to see it?  Thank God, in community, we can see that beauty and goodness together.  If you are interested in joining our community or would like to talk about Marianist Lay Communities (or community in general) in San Antonio, TX or beyond please email sobremesamlc@gmail.com.

   

Staying Alive

Louie has been joking around and asking, "are we dying?" With one of three people out of community.... it could seem as though we are. This past Saturday we met with Bro. Mike (who is journeying with Sobremesa) and the answer was a resounding NO!!!
In fact, we've been soaking (Marianating haahahahahah) in the Spirit.

Our Marianist Action this past week:
-Toni Messina (National Coordinator of LIFE) stayed with us for a couple of days... bouncing ideas off of and engaging in thoughts aobut community life
- MLFI (Marianist Lay Formation Initiative) Retreat was in San Antonio bringing in :Lay Marianists from all of the county (including my good friends from Hawaii).
-The MLFI cohort came to lunch with us at Sobremesa. We had a chance to talk about what is going on in our community. Which was especially nice for me... I finally got a chance to share with people I have known for 5 plus years my life...
-Sobremesa has begun to (slowly and surely) grow. We are inviting others into a new mission and vision and people are saying YES!
-I was given an opportunity to stay and host at Tecaboca.
-next week Louie and I will be traveling to the Mid-LIFE meeting in Burlingame, CA to talk about LIFE (Living In Faith Experience).

Louie and I have been working through our new mission. It's funny that we can read about all of these stages of community and mission writing etc... but it is a different beast when you are living it. Every "ah ha" moment  makes us that much closer to understanding God's will and our choice to live in community that much more. This mission we're working on will truly be a "living" document... re-writing and reflecting on it often... making sure we are living it.

This is what we've got so far:

The Sobremesa Community of San Antonio, Texas, responding to signs of the times, seeks to bring committed people of faith together to seek God through the lens of Marianist spirituality and community.  Working to support our families, each other and the larger Marianist family, we intend to live a common life of individual and communal prayer through the spiritual development and Marianist formation of Young Adults.

Soaking in the Spirit... surrounded by other Lay and Vowed Marianists gets me excited... fired up if you will. I just don't want to loose the drive... the fire :) Chaminade wrote in a letter to Father Jean Joseph Chevaux dated November 10, 1831:
"Moderate your labors and your zeal and never use up all the strength you seem to have at your command. I know myself how difficult it is at times to hold one's energy in check, especially when there are pressing needs. Nevertheless, one can succeed, by ridding oneself of all idea of self alone and of seeking only to accomplish the will of God."

One Heart, One Mind!

Life has way of calling one to change and grow; this never ceases to amaze me.  This past weekend was Central’s Kairos (word means a time when the conditions are right for the accomplishment of a crucial action) Retreat.  This retreat is designed for our Senior division.  The ultimate goal of the retreat is to call all back to God.  A series of talks are given and through the witness of the speakers and the conversation that follows, all experience God.   I happen to know this class well as I’ve taught them for two academic years.  They have a reputation for being a rowdy and rambunctious class.  This retreat, however, proved to be a time of introspection and conversion (based on my observation) for many of them.  It compelled me to do some soul-searching myself; one cannot experience something like this and not be moved.

On the last night, I was leading my group in a closing session, “affirmation.”  It was here I received, simultaneously, a great compliment and critique from a wise student.  He told me I was one of the greatest teachers he’s ever known and he has the utmost respect for me.  He went on to say, though, that he was disappointed in some of the destructive choices I’ve made.  He believed that I could do better.  Wow!  No student had ever put it so poignantly and direct.  His words struck me like a 2x4 across the face.  For a moment, I felt like a father who, unaware of the influence he wields, did something terrible to offend his son.  The student was afraid to share because he thought I would be offended.  In response, I expressed my pride in his ability to speak his truth with love.  I went on to say that I was sorry for not being the best role-model.  This apology, however, is in vain if I choose to continue to live the same way. 

Earlier in the day, I shared my personal story of obstacles faced in my short 30 years of life on this earth.  I spoke earnestly and respectfully (of myself and to the students) of destructive decisions I’ve made regarding alcohol and sex.  These issues have caused harm and pain to many others as well as myself.  I attributed these regrettable actions to boredom and loneliness.  These actions are evidence of the fact that, in a way, I live two lives.  I have my life as an educator and role-model and I have a life outside the school.  Of course it is ok to have a life outside school, in fact, it is a necessity.  Why, though, must there be no transparency in how I live my life off campus?  Why can’t I live the message of the material I teach?  What inhibits me from conversion and change?  Indeed, the spiritual life is rife with failure, boredom, mystery, and loneliness.  Many a spiritual masters have referred to these instances or periods of life as “dark nights of the soul.”

When I do experience these “dark nights” then I’m glad to be part of Sobremesa.  Community reminds that no one is an island existing totally alone.  If individualism and the “American Way” of doing things ultimately causes boredom, loneliness, or dis-ease with oneself, then Community is the cure.  Community calls me to pray with God who proves that none are alone.  Because of community, I’m reminded that I need to live one life not two.  I need to be transparent so that I can live my vocation better and work to effect positive change in the world.  I need to be the best man I can be. 

If we are, in deed, about making the world a better place then we must be of one heart and one mind; we must be in community.  This insight reminds me of a line from Acts 4:32, “The whole congregation of believers was united as one—one heart, one mind (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts%204:32&version=MSG)!  Today, I’m giving thanks for my vocation and my life in community.  These realities are like a spring of wisdom and inspiration in my life!  I challenge you to examine how community is something that you need in this very private and individual culture we live in.  If you are interested in continuing the conversation then please email us at sobremesamlc@gmail.com.

The Adventure Continues

Sobremesa has been blessed with so many things and people... There are times when I just sit back (in AWE) and breath in the Good News. It's amazing. I liken it to times when I have been filled with pride and love for my family and their accomplishments (my sister and her wedding, my cousin getting into Penn State and on and on). Louie achieved the Marianist Heritage Award at Central Catholic on Friday. I was blessed to attend the Chaminade Day mass with his family and the Central Catholic Community. It was a special mass to attend as I was yet again surrounded with Marianists...both vowed and lay Marianists. To top it off... to have Louie receive the award and speak was an inspiring thing. He truly does live out the Marianist Charism in such an intentional way. I am thankful to have him as my community mate, challenging me to live in the same manner and supporting me as we bring our community to the greater community. It's awesome. Congratulations Louie.
The past two Fridays have been filled with interviews from Chaminade College Preparatory West Hills Middle School. My friend, Kate, teaches religion there and "brought me in" via skype to share what it is like to be Lay Marianist and to live in community. Although I have opportunities to talk about community and live out the Charism... our interviews excited me. They reminded me of the opportunity and gift community is.... and helped change my perspective on the changes Sobremesa is experiencing. There are other things that have helped change my perspective: talking to Louie EXTENSIVELY, talking with Bro. Mike (our Spiritual Guide/Companion on the Journey), praying, and seeing Jhonny and Clare together. It is sad to see Clare go. But it is beautiful to see her love Jhonny, to see her in love with her new community. I pray that Clare feels our support and love for her and Jhonny.
The students reminded me that both Louie and I chose to do this every day. That we both struggle with accommodating each other and living with radical hospitality towards not only ourselves, but our greater community. They challenged me to think about the challenge it is to be Lay Marianist... the responsibility/call to serve others. To think about how Sobremesa has a blank canvas... what are we going to do with it. What i give up by saying YES to community and Sobremesa. They reminded me that Sobremesa does not exist only within the house at Norman Lane... but within the greater Marianist world... and San Antonio world. It only exists because of the continued support of our friends and family.... YOU!!!
Both Louie and I have come to the conclusion that there is so much more for us here within Sobremesa. The call is here.... and now.... and I think we are both feeling the Spirit.
Last week, Louie eluded to the call to community... and if that was something you would/could be called to. If that is the case, we want to talk to you! Email us (sobremesamlc@gmail.com), call us, post a comment. We want to start the conversation, continue the conversation.